Open your fearful heart to let love in
We can close down our hearts through perceived betrayals, losses, grief, disappointments, and so on. It’s a way to protect us from being hurt that way again. Experiences trigger the memory and emotions, and we re-tell our story to ourselves as a reminder to not go down that path again. Our story acts as a warning. However what this story also does is, grow in size. It persists in our mind, and whenever we re-tell the story, we are rehearsing it and re-consolidating it into memory with added emotions and hindsight’s. The story becomes bigger and bigger and bigger! The emotions become more negative and grow stronger, and stronger, and stronger! Soon, our ‘story’ has defined us. It continues to grow, and takes hold of our heart, choking the love out of it – closing us off from new experiences, opportunities, and most importantly … love. As the love diminishes, the fear grows. We often think of hate as the opposite of love, but actually fear is. Fear encompasses hatred, anger, jealousy, envy, judgement, un-forgiveness, resentment, unworthiness and all the negative, gut-wrenching emotions you can think up. Love encompasses compassion, contentment, peace, serenity, joy, worthiness, and all the wonderful, positive feelings you can dream up. Which would you rather feel in your body, mind and soul?
Fear resides in your heart as a tight, clenched fist, ready to strike out. Fear resides in your shoulders as that weighted down burdensome heavy feeling that pushes your shoulders forward into a hunch. Fear lives in your belly as a churning, burning, pulling feeling that distracts you with its perpetual grumbling and mumbling. Fear makes your back ache, and your legs feel heavy. Fear causes sore arms, and wrists, and hands. Fear creates headaches, and toothache, muscle strains, and fatigue. With so much fear filling up all your spaces, invading every cell of your body, your immune system starts to falter. The cells start to malfunction, get over-worked trying to fight this invisible enemy manifesting in your body and mind.
So what can we do to make fear go away, and open our hearts back up to love? We want to fill our spaces with love, and push out all that fear and here are some simple but effective ways to open your heart…
We’ll go through each one separately now …
- Smiling
- Accepting
- Thanking
- Releasing
- Responding
- Dreaming
- Enjoying
- Reminding
We’ll go through each one separately now …
Ways to open your heart – smiling
Smiling is probably one of the simplest things we can do, and it’s contagious. When you smile, others smile. When you laugh, others laugh. When was the last time you smiled, I mean really smiled? With joy in your heart? Think back on that time and savour that moment, get in touch with the feelings and emotions that arise. How does it make you feel? Do you feel a warming in your heart center? Isn’t it a wonderful feeling? If you’re struggling to remember a time when you last smiled with joy, that’s ok. Just place your hand on your heart for a few minutes and just breathe deeply in and out. Focussing on your heart, and placing your hand there, releases oxytocin, which is our ‘feel good’ hormone. Whenever you feel stressed, you can place your hand on your heart and just allow oxytocin to release into your bloodstream and uplift your mind and body.
A smile is free, and yet it can means so much to the receiver. This includes you! One way to get used to smiling again is to practice in the mirror and smile the way you’d want to be smiled at. Smile with warmth, and let the smile reach your eyes, let them sparkle with love, and compassion.
A smile offers friendship, compassion, understanding, love, and connectedness. When you smile at a stranger, you may be the only person that smiles at them that day. So smile at the cashier, or the postman, the kid on the skateboard, or the old lady resting on a park bench. A smile can be enough to warm your heart and the hearts of others. When you smile you can mentally say something that will make your smile even warmer. For example “Namaste”. Namaste means “I bow to the divine in you” which equates to “I respect and honor you” or “I see your true essence and light”.
Or you could say “Sawubona” which is a Zulu greeting reflecting that when you look at a person they come into existence in your world, and yours in theirs. It means “I see you”. In ‘seeing’ each other you are connected, you are one.
Or you could simply think in your mind “I love you” as you smile, which is an expression of compassion rather than romantic love.
A smile is free, and yet it can means so much to the receiver. This includes you! One way to get used to smiling again is to practice in the mirror and smile the way you’d want to be smiled at. Smile with warmth, and let the smile reach your eyes, let them sparkle with love, and compassion.
A smile offers friendship, compassion, understanding, love, and connectedness. When you smile at a stranger, you may be the only person that smiles at them that day. So smile at the cashier, or the postman, the kid on the skateboard, or the old lady resting on a park bench. A smile can be enough to warm your heart and the hearts of others. When you smile you can mentally say something that will make your smile even warmer. For example “Namaste”. Namaste means “I bow to the divine in you” which equates to “I respect and honor you” or “I see your true essence and light”.
Or you could say “Sawubona” which is a Zulu greeting reflecting that when you look at a person they come into existence in your world, and yours in theirs. It means “I see you”. In ‘seeing’ each other you are connected, you are one.
Or you could simply think in your mind “I love you” as you smile, which is an expression of compassion rather than romantic love.
Ways to open your heart - accepting
Spend an hour, then a day, then a week and so on … accepting yourself and others:
- Celebrate your commonalities and your differences
- Learn from others’ experiences and opinions
- Try to see their point-of-view and the life they’ve lead that has helped them form that opinion. It doesn’t mean you have to take it on as your opinion, nor try to sway them to your view, but accept that they have their journey & life experiences, and you have yours
- Don’t judge yourself, accept all of you, even those aspects you consider failings, ugly,
- Don’t judge others, you don’t know every aspect of their lives or what they’re going through
- Have compassion and empathy for others and yourself
- Put yourself in their shoes for a moment
Ways to open your heart - thanking
- Acknowledge the things that go ‘right’
This could be as simple as the green traffic light on your way home from work
The sunny day so your washing dries on the line
Getting your task done before the deadline
Taking the time to watch the sunset
Catching up with a close friend - Write a journal at the end of your day, reflecting on all the things that you’re grateful for
- Being gracious makes you feel abundant and blessed and with practice you’ll see things to be
grateful for at every turn!
Ways to open your heart - releasing
- Acknowledge the things that don’t go ‘right’ and then release and let go
• Learn from them, and then let go
• Feel the emotion, cry to release the trauma and toxins, then let go
• Forgive yourself and others, and then let go
• Notice the feelings of burden: shame, guilt, anger, disappointment, blame, betrayal & loss, then let go - Welcome the feelings of relief and lightness as the weight leaves your shoulders, then let go
Ways to open your heart - responding
- Give positive feedback to your spouse/partner, children, extended family, co-workers, friends, and strangers – shop assistants, ticket-booth operator, policeman directing traffic – anyone you come into contact with
- Let them know that you appreciate them
- Give positive feedback and encouragement to yourself too
Ways to open your heart - dreaming
• Make a list of wishes and dreams that your heart desires, and set action plans to achieve them
Ways to open your heart - enjoying
- Do something that makes your heart sing for joy, such as: singing in the shower, walking in nature, attending a comedy show and having a good belly laugh, visiting an art gallery, painting, drawing…
- Push your own boundaries / comfort zone by doing something you’re a little frightened of like: attending a boot camp, going on a roller coaster, join a night class to learn a new skill, go back to school, tell someone how you feel, go on a blind date or join a social group to make new friends – you’ll feel such achievement which will uplift your heart and fill you with joy
Ways to open your heart - reminding
- Wear green which is the color of the heart chakra (the fourth chakra)
- Place a heart-shaped ornament in a favorite place that you will see often and when you do it reminds you to open your heart
- Put your hand on your heart (which releases oxytocin – the ‘feel good’ hormone) and breathe deeply for a few minutes
- When you realize you’re making a decision with your head, stop, and feel what your heart wants
and finally...
• Be true to yourself
• Be true to your feelings
• Live honestly
• Accept who you are
• Love who you are
• Be grateful for all the lessons and the experiences
• Be open to more
• Start right now!
• Be true to your feelings
• Live honestly
• Accept who you are
• Love who you are
• Be grateful for all the lessons and the experiences
• Be open to more
• Start right now!
